MA | LMHCA | CCTP
In Seattle, WA
Are you considering divorce but not sure what to do?
Emotionally exhausted and "gone?"
"Out" but can't decide to leave because of the kids?
Starving for "hope" that the relationship can work?
"One foot in and one foot out" but can't decide if you're ready?
Fighting to "save" the marriage but your partner has "checked out."
Angry that your partner is not working hard enough to save the relationship?
Discernment Counseling offers an excellent opportunity for partners who are considering divorce but want to work together with a neutral party in a safe environment to discuss what is going on in the relationship and decide if there is hope to save the marriage.
Discernment Counseling is NOT couples counseling rather it is short term, focused, and intended to help both partners come to a decision on what the next steps should include.
The goals of Discernment counseling:
3. A Decision
When couples take part in Discernment Counseling they find clarity about how the relationship has evolved, what each partner is experiencing, and how each partner has contributed to the current state. Both partners walk away with confidence that the decision they have agreed to is mutual and going forward they have a plan.
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Each of us are unique individuals who express ourselves in very different ways. There is not a right way to be, but rather there are emotional signs and behaviors that we project to others which tend to communicate we need and want help.
Individual therapy and couples counseling can benefit tremendously by understanding the impact our own emotional heritage has and the personal relationship each of us have with our own feelings.
"How do you feel about feelings?"
For men of all ages experiencing and expressing feelings and emotions can be an uncomfortable experience. Commonly, men restrict emotions, project anger and aggression towards others, or adopt isolating routines. On other occasions, men also tend to mask their discomfort through a "stoic" demeanor. Eventually, physical signs and internal discomfort begin to surface and provide additional emotional clues.
In a relationship both individuals bring an emotional heritage with them that infiltrates the relationship at some point. Most couples find themselves rehearsing the same perpetual disagreement over and over until emotions run high and the conversation and behavior eventually goes sideways. By that point, both partners often find themselves flooded, exhausted, and overwhelmed by the threat of another argument as well as they feel unsafe sharing their feelings. Escalated arguments, distancing from one-another, and shutting down are common signs that one or both partners are hurting emotionally.
Examples of dysfunction in your life from restricting the expression and communication of feelings and emotions may include:
If you find yourself, or someone close to you is experiencing one or several of the examples above for an extended period of time then let's talk.
Contact Me Today
I treat each person as a unique individual deserving of respect, understanding, and fairness. As a couple you are both individuals, as well as, partners. I believe in a collaborative holistic approach. We will universally review the full context of what is happening in your life, as well as, the relationship and direct family. As relevant or needed, I also incorporate secondary family members, friends, and other wellness providers.
To do this, I incorporate strength and values-based therapeutic models. I also utilize emotion based therapies such as Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). These models are made-up of evidence-based treatments which have been found to be highly effective working with adults and couples.
“I am not what happened to me,
I am what I choose to become.”
As a young boy I had no clue about my emotions and I let them run free. In hindsight, I have realized that I was out of touch with myself. I thought yelling, becoming frustrated, and throwing stuff was “normal” until friends and family members repeatedly scolded me or asked me if I was okay?
I didn’t like to be scolded and I especially didn’t want to be considered “not okay.” From those experiences I began a journey of shutting down my emotions, masking them, or only revealing them when I was completely alone.
While I constantly tried to control my behavior, on unfortunate occasions, my bubble would burst and friends or family would witness the ugly in me come out.
As an adult, I have realized that I was not unique in terms of being a young boy experiencing big emotions and trying to find ways to ask for help. While I did have big emotions that were exhibited in uncomfortable ways I was not “bad” nor was I “broken.”
Unfortunately, over time I did learn the hard way about how emotions and feelings can impact your life and relationships in unhealthy ways. All facets of my relationships, I.e., professional, friends, family, and romantic relationships, were impacted. Which is what led me to seek knowledge, find support, and learn to embrace my emotions and feelings as an adult male in a healthy way.
The road from shutting down my feelings, expressing explosive unhealthy displays of emotions, and keeping my feelings silenced to a more healthy approach of managing emotions and expressing my feelings along with sharing them has been a long journey in self-exploration, education, and practice. A lot of practice….
It has also been a giant leap of faith, in terms of building my courage, to stand in front of others and express myself, and allow myself to be vulnerable. Opening up, asking for help, and communicating what I need has fostered deep and meaningful relationships that I could have never imagined, especially with my wife and children.
Experience & Education
Individual session | $125
Couples session | $150
Discernment session | $200 for 90 minute session
I believe therapy should be accessible to everyone. Don't let cost stop you from calling. Please contact me for more information regarding flexible billing.
Cash, check, or credit including Health Savings Accounts.
Please note: I do not accept insurance, but I can provide you with a receipt that you can submit to your insurance company for potential reimbursement as an Out of Network provider. I will not bill, or make submissions for reimbursement to your health insurance provider.